My best friend has a lot of children. Okay, she’s got three. But they are the cutest little nuggets of joy ever and for whatever reason, I’m obsessed with them. I’m not the greatest with kids, I’ll admit that. I’m also not the biggest fan, but hey I’m awkward and not ready to grow up. Give me a break. But her kids…I love them. I could squeeze them all day long. Until they start crying. Then it’s right back to mommy we go!
So since I’m so awkward, I usually struggle with conversations. I’m no natural. I usually open with, “Hey buddy, how have you been? How’s school? You liking this weather?” He’s five. Same goes for the three year old. But hey, it’s the conversations that they start that kill me. They are so funny I seriously want to start a YouTube series for them so then we can all get famous by association.
This best friend, Kylie, just started her own blog a bit ago. It is definitely a MUST READ! We live a few states away now, but reading the conversations she has with her kids is so entertaining! I literally sit there reading and laughing out loud. Wobble Bey Bee is the name so be sure to check it out! Especially the Kiddo Talk section! I’m literally dying every time I read it.
Anyway, here’s just a few things I’ve talked about with her kiddos.
We were sitting at the dinner table and the cat knocked over the broom. The broom fell over and slapped the wood floor and made a big noise that made all of us jump. (Or at least me). The 5 year old said, “Whoa! That was unexpected!” How does a 5 year old even know what unexpected is?!
2. “Because I’m a Boy!”
We were snacking together and he had food in his mouth when he jumped on the couch and laid upside down. I looked at him and said, “How can you chew upside down like that?” His simple response: “Because I’m a boy!” Ohhhh, no wonder I always failed at that one.
3. “Smart cat”
Kylie has always had a thing for animals. Rescuing them, finding them, you name it. Somehow (I’ve lost track) she managed to get a kitten. One day I was asking her, “What if you don’t know Mowgli (the cat) is in the house and you accidentally leave her in here all day long? Where would she poop?” Of course the logical answer is…in the litter box. Duh. Then somehow the kid chimes in with, “She’ll be a smart cat and go to kindergarten if she can put her own poop in the trash can!” Ummmm, okay, buddy…?
I was sitting with the oldest in the car waiting on mom and dad one day. I forget what we were going but I’m pretty sure he was saying something annoying so I looked at him and said, “Oh shut up.” OOPS. I panicked. He looked at me and said, “You shut up!” Then I tried to retract, “No, no, no, don’t say that, that’s a bad word! Mommy and Daddy are going to yell at us!” He looked at me and said, “That’s not a bad word!” Fine. It’s not that bad. But then he gets all quiet and glares at me and yells, “PENIS!” WHAT?!?! Where did that come from?? I was dying. I could only respond with, “Don’t say that to me!”
But hey, kids know what they’re talking about, right?
The laughs we have shared since those kids have started talking, I’ll never forget. And I’m sure I’ll repeat these for the rest of forever!
Do you ever have bizarre conversations with small people?