How to Befriend Your Neighbors in 4 Ways

I’ve been living in the same apartment for TWO years. It feels like an eternity. About a year ago (or more) I got a new neighbor across the way. He’s pretty much a hermit and I think I’ve only talked to him about 3 times in the past year. I’m just not very neighborly I guess and I was living by myself for a while, and well, hello, stranger danger.

Anyhow, one Saturday, the boyfriend was outside working on the jeep and the neighbor was out and about as well. I know, shocking! He knocked on my door and I went to it thinking it was the boyfriend and said, “It’s open!” Then opened the door, and oops, you’re not the boyfriend. He had a bucket of wood and said, “A storm is coming in over the next couple days and I just got a ton of wood, so I wanted to share some with you!”

Sweet. Thank you very much guy. That is super nice of you.

The next day we come home to a pile of wood outside our front door. Geez man, again, super nice of you. The boyfriend moves the pile onto our deck and returns the bucket from the other day. The neighbor doesn’t answer, so he leaves it outside.

Now here is the funny part:

The neighbor then knocks on our door and the boyfriend answers. “Hey man, didn’t want you to think I was ignoring you! Hope you enjoy the wood, it should burn really well!” Sweet. Thanks again guy.

The boyfriend tells him, “Oh yeah, we’re just getting it ready to fire up now!” Then the boyfriend goes to start a fire. The neighbor knocks AGAIN.

The boyfriend: “Allison, can you get that? I’m trying to get this fire started.”

Me: “But why? It’s your new friend!” Ha ha. I answer the door and the neighbor gives me a couple of finger guns and says, “Oh, one more thing man! Oh wait, where’s the boyfriend?” Well, um, hello, I live here too! “Boyfriend….it’s for you.” Big surprise.

He goes over to the door and the neighbor tells him about how good of wood it is and that it should burn for a really long time. Sweet. Thanks guy.

Then the boyfriend turns to me and says, “Should I have offered him some of my deer meat?!?” I don’t know. What if he’s a vegetarian, then that’d be embarrassing. After contemplating it, he finally decides to take the neighbor some venison. He leaves our door open, so I get to overhear this entire exchange.

Knock, knock, knock. Neighbor opens the door, and I hear the boyfriend say, “Hey man, you eat meat?” Oh shit. That’s awkward! Some more conversation happened and then the boyfriend comes back holding 2 packs of fish. “WHAT? How did you get that fish??”

“Well, I gave him the venison, and then he gave me the fish.”

WHAT? We gave him meat in exchange for wood, then he gave us fish on top of that?! So I’m pretty sure we’re in debt to him now. Somehow.

But, now the boyfriend has a new friend. And it’s pretty freaking hilarious.

Basically the recipe for being neighborly:

1. Give them wood
2. Give them more wood
3. They give you meat
4. Give them fish

And there you have it. Instant neighbors. BOOM.

Have any of you had any interesting neighborly exchanges??